Aggressive Dogs

Aggression is the most troubling problem that comes between people and their pets. If you have a dog who isn’t safe with other people or dogs, or may have attacked you, this dog is not date bait. In fact, you need to address your dog’s aggression before you focus on your own love life. If you don’t address this right away, it will only get worse.

Here are a few ideas that might help:

Find a trainer or behaviorist who uses gentle methods. Far more often than not, if you treat aggression with force, the problem will escalate. This trainer will probably have you follow a plan in which your dog has to work for a living: Every time you give him food, or even a gentle pat, he needs to sit, lie down, or do something else to show that he’s earning his keep. (The thinking goes that in the wild, the top dog in the pack controls who gets food and attention. When the dog has
to work for you to get food and attention, he views you as the big dog in charge, and treats you with more respect.)

Teach your dog “watch me.” Your dog can’t get into fights or attack people if he’s looking at you. Dogs’ bodies follow their eyes. Teach your dog “watch me” by holding a treat in front of your eyes. When he stares longingly at your face, say “Good watch me!” and give him the treat. Over time, hold the treat in your hand but only reward the dog when he looks in your eyes. Build up the length of time of the eye contact, so you can ask your dog to “watch me” when trouble comes near, and he will focus on you until the temptation has passed.

Use a head collar. Head collars (brands such as Halti Collar and Gentle Leader) fit over your dog’s head, just like a halter
fits on a horse. Just as you can lead a horse wherever you want to go with a halter, so you can lead even a big dog with a head collar. In addition, the feeling of the strap over the dog’s nose is something like the way a top dog gently nuzzles
the muzzle of a lower-ranking dog, so over and over the head collar is telling your dog that you’re the boss—and he isn’t. Sometimes that gentle reminder will make an almost magical difference in a dog.

Know your dog. Know what triggers your dog, and avoid those situations. So if he’s dog-aggressive, don’t take him to the dog park: That’s just asking for an awful incident. If he growls when people come within four feet—stay five feet away.

With expert help and a lot of patience, your aggressive dog might turn the corner and become a safe, reliable citizen. And with all the dog trainers you’ll be meeting, you never know where you’ll find love.

Shy Dogs

About 15 percent of people and dogs are shy (defined as uncomfortable with unfamiliar places or people). Sometimes the people who have shy dogs—often rescuing them from sad situations—are shy themselves. These kind souls take these dogs because of the special empathy they feel.

So . . . you’ve got a shy owner and a shy dog. I bet you’re thinking this doesn’t sound like a recipe for success in meeting the perfect mate. You’re wrong. People who own shy dogs soon learn that the most important antidote to shyness is gentle, loving, non-threatening exposure to safe new people and safe new situations. While a happy-go-lucky dog might do fine just playing with neighborhood kids in your backyard, over time a shy dog needs to be taken into the real world or she will just get worse. Over the years, you’ll probably end up going more places and meeting more people with your shy dog than anyone you know who has a “normal” dog.

Here are a few rules to help your shy dog adjust to new social situations (and a few hints for the shy owner, as well).

Don’t overwhelm your shy dog. It’s important to expose your dog to new places and new things, but it’s equally important not to flood her with stimulation. Take her to small neighborhood parks, not a crowded shopping center. Walk with her quietly; don’t let her get mugged by the dogs at the
dog park.

Carry food. Most people will reach out to pet your shy dog. An outstretched hand coming over a dog’s head is the scariest gesture a human can make, and it will terrify most shy dogs. Instead, carry yummy, gooey, smelly, delicious (to a dog) treats with you. When someone wants to pet your dog,
explain that your dog is shy, but it would be great if the person would give your pooch one of these special treats. A true dog lover will be thrilled to take the gooey, slimy, smelly treat and give it to your shy dog.

Develop your own patter. Dog talent agent Paula Ratoza has a shy Doberman Pinscher who was abused before she adopted him. She says people would often make nasty comments to her, assuming his “hang dog” look was her fault. She learned to explain her dog’s history and asked people to give him a
treat. When they gave him a treat, Paula would tell Higgins “head up” and he’d hold his head up tall and proud as he took the treat. Now he knows the commands “head up” and also “head down”—recreating his old, sad look. This comes in handy when this now happy dog has a role in a television commercial.

Love your shy dog, take her places, build her confidence, and watch her blossom into a happier, more relaxed pet. Just think: The next person who helps you by giving your dog a slimy dog treat might be the kind, sweet soul who will be your perfect match. Don’t be surprised if this new dream date is just a little bit shy. After all, a shy
person has the empathy and heart to understand what your dog is going through.

What to Do if the Dog You Love Isn’t on the List

Yikes! There’s a good chance your dog didn’t make the 10 Best List. Or, worse yet, made the Five Worst List. Not to worry! With a little help from you, your dog can be a canine ambassador—and attract new friends to you and to his breed.

If Your Dog Looks Scary
If you’ve got a big, brawny, scary-looking dog, soften his looks. The easiest, most effective way: a cool bandana around his neck. If he’s kind of a lovable goofball, maybe he wouldn’t even mind wearing a sun visor and sunglasses in summer. These tiny cosmetic changes have an enormous impact on how people view your dog.



If Your Dog Is Very Little or Looks Weird
Train your dog. People admire a dog who is very well trained—one who sits when you stop, does tricks, works on hand signals . Much of the resistance to very little dogs, very big dogs and oddlooking dogs is old-fashioned prejudice. These people decide they don’t like your dog without ever meeting him, and for no reason. What you’ll learn when you help people overcome this prejudice by showing off your well-trained dog is that the dog’s biggest detractors will turn into his biggest fans. They won’t just think he’s smart, they’ll think he’s the smartest dog in the world. And he’s not just friendly, he’s the most lovable dog in history. That’s the positive side of overcoming prejudice—it turns into adoration.

Carrying a Toy
Lots of dogs like to carry toys with them on walks. If you have a dog who looks scary or a little dog, you’d be amazed how people respond to the dog showing his teddy bear to everyone. (Of course, this only works if the dog likes to share his teddy bear. If he growls and stares balefully at the person admiring the toy, this isn’t good. Not good at all.)

Dogs Who Play Golf and Soccer
Here are some true stories about how people’s views about a dog change just by what he does. My dog Radar is a seven-pound Papillon—a little black and white dog with huge ears that look like butterfly wings. Although Radar has several obedience titles to his credit, men were mostly unimpressed by this butterfly dog. Until he
played golf.



A local television station decided to develop a fake commercial, in which viewers could supposedly buy “pup putts”—golfing gadgets that would improve your score. I trained Radar to grab a golf ball and drop it into the hole when I said, “Make par!”

During training (which I did on a putting practice area at a local golf course) and during filming, Radar’s golf game turned quite a few heads. This demographically desirable group of men—who would normally have been nonplussed by a dog who has been described as “a cat in drag”—were fascinated by the way he played their game. After one practice session, a man came up, looked at Radar in admiration, and said, “That is a great dog.” I knew a Pit Bull who always carried a soccer ball when he went
for walks. When kids (or attractive women) came up, the man who owned the dog would ask them to throw the dog’s ball. The dog would kick the ball back, and the dog and the woman would play soccer. Suddenly, instead of being a big, scary Pit Bull, this great dog was a fun soccer buddy.

Sports companies have said for years that the truly hip play sports. Apparently, if your dog plays sports, he’s viewed as more cool—and probably more human—than other dogs. Your dog doesn’t have to be the canine equivalent of Michael Jordan. Bring along a Frisbee or a tennis ball for him to chase and people will volunteer to throw it. When they experience the joy of playing fetch with a great dog, they forget to hate the dog.

If You Have a Poodle
Poodles of all three sizes (toy, miniature and standard) are handsome, athletic, intelligent dogs—and some of the most highly trainable animals in dogdom. What everyone makes fun of is the hairdo. There’s nothing in this world that says you have to decorate your Poodle with pompons. One of the most handsome dogs I’ve ever seen was a Standard Poodle whose coat was cut evenly all over, about half an inch long. This included the tail: no fancy pompon. The dog’s owner spent huge amounts of time convincing people this was really a Poodle. Groomed without frills, the dog looked more like the sporting dog this breed used to be.



The other alternative is to embrace the frills. There used to be a woman who jogged through my neighborhood with her black Standard Poodle. The dog was in full show coat: huge billows of hair on his head and chest, and shaved naked on his butt and legs (except for those decorative pompons). The woman who jogged with him always wore a black, fluffy, faux fur jacket that just came to her waist, and skin-tight black leggings. Yes, the dog and owner looked like they were wearing matching outfits. But they were both beautiful and athletic. People couldn’t help but stand still and watch them jog by with their elegant strides. In that instance, it worked to embrace the weirdness.